Batangas Car Accident

A car accident happened in Batangas and as always there is only witness that the media can ask. Of course no one but Mamay Itong. our super lolo on the run. As usual, trying hard again to translate this in English. But for the sake of our dearest foreign readers, I will do my best to translate it because the other tool of Google can't translate it good enough because our own Batangas vocabulary cannot translate by Google.

MEDIA: ‘Lo, kayo daw po’ng kaisa-isahang saksi?

(Grandpa, we learned that you are the only witness)

Mamay Itong: Ay uwoh! Ika’y pumarne dine sa silong. Kung ako pa naman ang dadais sa iyo para magsalaysay ay sulong!
(Yes indeed! Just come here beside me, because if you want me to come beside you I may say that you can go)

MEDIA: ‘Sensya na po sa abala. Ano po ba talaga ang nangyari... kayo lang daw po ang nakasaksi sa mga pangyayari. Pwede po ba ninyong isalaysay ang mga naganap?
(I so sorry grandpa. What was really happened? they told that you are the only witness to what happened. Can you tell us what was really happened?)

Mamay Itong: Ako’y husay na husay ang pagkaka-ungkot dine sa lusong na are at karakaraka’y ako’y nagitla sa lagong ng busina. Abay' may mag-inang hasing-hasi pa ng paghihikap ay gab-ing gab-e na! Bakin ga aring dyip ay saksakan ng tulin??? Ay di ako’y palakat na sa mag-inang hindi naiingli! Aba’y maiipit na’y naka-umis pa eh! Kainaman na. Ay hayown! Sa pag-iwas ng dyip ay sumalya sa tarangka, tiklap ang tapaludung lasa ko’y kawangki ng nilamukos na kitse. Pagkakabugnot ng drayber! Ngalngal e! 
Utang pa raw sa kahanggan ang ipinangbili ng dyip na are.... ay di ga'y pagkakagalit. Yun namang mag-inang iging ige sa paglitar kahit gab-e na'y pumatikar na at hindi na nautap-tapan. Pasalamat na rin nga laang at gay-on laang ang nangyari.
(I was sitting pretty here in this mortar and suddenly surprise of a very loud sound of horn from a passenger jeep. I saw a mother and daughter who are still strolling even in the middle of the night then suddenly come this passenger jeep with very fast speed going to their direction. I shouted to them but it seems that they didn't notice it because instead of making any move, they just smile to me. So the jeepney driver change direction and bump to this gate. So the engine cover was folded like a bottle cap. The driver was so irritated and crying because he told that the money that he used to buy this jeep is a loan from his neighbor and not yet paid it so he's so angry to what happened. The mother and child run already and he cannot find them anymore. But thanks because it's happened only like that.)

MEDIA: Bakit ho 'Lo?
(Why grandpa?)

Mamay Itong: Ay kuruin mong kung sa agbang yan sumugba at di dyan sa tarangka eh baka pati drayber ay piringkot ding parang kitse.
(Because you see, if this jeep fall down in the ravine and not in this gate, maybe the driver is also folded like a bottle cap.)

Media: Ano daw!?!???
(What did you say?!?!?)

Author side comment: Ah-ah... ay talaga nga plang nakakadugo ng ilong ang mag-translate ng ganire...nauubusan talaga ako ng baon eh. Sya bahala na kayong umunawa at umintindi diyan. ang lagay na iyan eh... pagpasensyahan na laang ninyo ako.